In this post I give a little history of my background to explain the origination of the metaphor behind the title. Then I attempt to make a point about an increasing tendency for our society to wait for a crisis to seek support or therapy, and that this is a symptom of collective trauma related to the COVID-19 pandemic. I include a few tips to be pro-active.
Some years ago I was one of the therapists for an in-home intensive treatment program. We worked with families where the children were at risk of removal from the Department of Children and Families, and our job was to help the parents with their substance abuse and child maltreatment. I was a therapist during the pilot study and then during randomized clinical trials, and a few years later supervised one of the teams. To see an article about the pilot study, click here, and to learn more about MST-BSF, click here. I learned quite a bit about treating mental illness and substance abuse, conducting family therapy, and well... people.
In the majority of the cases the parents were being impacted by some type of unaddressed trauma, including Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. In many of those cases, treating the trauma made it a lot easer for the parents to have the lives that they and their children desired together. During my time as a clinician with the program we were in constant consultation with the model developers and researchers. We began to see a trend: prior to treatment, the parents who had endured traumatic experiences (especially recurrent traumas) tended not to react the same way that others typically would when safety concerns were present for them or their families. It was like they were desensitized to the warning signs of danger. One of the developers gave us a metaphor to help us understand. She said something to the effect of it being like "the smoke detector was broken." That metaphor has always helped me have compassion for folks who were not reacting to safety concerns in the same way I might. It helped me to remember that people were trying their best. That is, that their early warning system was just not as sensitive as mine because they had been bombarded with dangerous situations in the past. (Side note: developing compassion is what allowed us to remain resilient and patient enough to remain helpful.) I want to highlight that the early warning system was broken, but not the fire alarm itself. In other words, the people who exhibited this trauma-related pattern would still seek help in a crisis. Looking back, that was probably why we caught on to the pattern. Time and time again we would rush to provide crisis support after something unsafe had happened. We were asking ourselves why we were putting out so may fires and doing so much damage control in the early phases of treatment. Understanding how trauma can shift perception and even physiology, with the help of the metaphor, was the answer.
Fast forward to today, when we have all been bombarded with fear for our safety on a regular basis due to the COVID-19 pandemic.
Up until very recently I was overseeing the operations of an outpatient clinic in multiple locations, while also training the graduate student interns (which I still do). Shortly after the pandemic shutdown in March of 2020, once we figured out how to provide services safely using tele-mental health, a pattern began to emerge (maybe you can tell where this is going). As we implemented tele-mental health services en masse, we noticed that the clinical presentations were much more acute. That is, more people were seeking treatment when they were in crisis and fewer people were coming in with routine complaints. As I collaborated with other professionals around us, I realized that everyone we spoke to who was providing psychotherapy (whether it was in-person or virtual) was noticing the same thing.
So here we are, at the main point. The COVID-19 pandemic has caused a collective trauma. This is reflected by how many people are seeking therapy only after they are in crisis. Collectively, we are not detecting the early warning signs of trouble... just like the people that I mentioned working with years ago, who perceived risk in a different way and waited for a crisis to ask for help. The persistent trauma and danger causes the "smoke detector" to malfunction.
As summarized in a recent article in Psychology Today, collective trauma is distress from a threatening or harmful event that affects a group of people, and that group can be any size including a whole society. So, what do we do about it? As the authors of the article mention, we need to be proactive. Here are a few ways to do that:
The first step is acknowledging that YES, we are actually in the middle of an experience that has the power to shift the lens of our whole society in a potentially harmful way; a nodal event that is of similar caliber to losses endured in the wars, genocides, and yes - pandemics that we have read about in history books.
Find a practice that will increase your mindfulness, and make a habit of using it. I am talking about doing anything that will slow down the rush of information entering your awareness - decelerate the thoughts, feelings, and experiences. This includes finding quiet time, getting outside near some trees, journaling, taking a break from any mind-altering substances, meditation, chanting, and light exercise.
Take inventory of your mind, body, spirit, and relationships. Review that journal if you have one and see what has changed in your wellbeing. Use the insight from your brief mindfulness practices to compare how you are doing now to how you were a few months ago, or even a year ago. What changed? What is going better? What has gotten more challenging? Read up on wellness. Ask yourself if you are approaching life the way you want to.
Have a growth-oriented conversation with a trusted person. Often times hearing yourself speak your new insights can help you take them more seriously, and/or even see them in a new way. The person you speak with may appreciate it as well. Listen to the trusted person to return the favor. These growth-oriented conversations have a way of sometimes making things more clear in our minds, or informing us if there are areas of our wellbeing that we need to pay more attention to in order to find more clarity.
Finally (here it is), contact a therapist if you notice increased struggle to manage your feelings, could use little extra help living the way you want, or even if you are not sure. Before you tell yourself "things aren't that bad," ask yourself "...compared to what?" Are things not that bad compared to enduring the loss of someone you know, having panic attacks, or contemplating suicide? Waiting until it gets that bad doesn't do you any favors. In fact, being pro-active about your wellbeing could drastically improve your life and the lives of those relating with you.
It always impresses me how many people take their cars for regular maintenance, and wash the exterior and maintain the polish because "in the long run it is cheaper than paying for large repairs." We should take care of ourselves and relationships better than we do our cars, or our coffee machines, or our kitchens, or our cell phones...
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